Memory Loss

Friday, November 30, 2007: Last night I went to see Leo, my former dog. He looked at me and did not recognize me. His new owner urged him to be nice to me, to kiss me like he used to, but it was no good. I was history. The guy slept on my bed, was jealous of my little girl cat and now he does not know who I am–or was. Maybe their memory is not as long as ours–the people who owned and took care of them. We remember them long after they leave us, but they do not always return the favor.

My dog Rubio missed me a lot when I had to leave him in the care of others, but the last people–those are the ones he fell in love with. And then they dumped him. It was very sad for him because he would drag me back to their house. He´d smell their car, the car tires, the front door. That was heartbreaking for him–and me.

The Tigre Dog

Wednesday, November 28, 2007: I saw him by a tree in front of the Tigre train station. He was a large dog, with a spotted white coat. I put my hand inside my plastic bag and took out a handful of dog food. Here, I said. The dog looked at me and his tail wagged. Then he stretched his front paws for me to touch. I caressed his head. The dog got up and sat in a begging position. He wanted a home. He wanted to be taken home and I couldn´t do that for him.
If I was movie director, I would film these dogs. I would record how they follow people who look nice, how they look to see who gets out of colectivos, how they search for someone to make them not be homeless anymore. I know the world has a lot of problems to solve, and some people will ask: Why worry about dogs? What about hungry children?
I don´t know. All I can answer is this: These dogs touch me deeply and I want to help them. Some of them are old strays, some have just been put on the street, but they have one thing in common. They are living beings with feelings and needs and they don´t deserve to die out there. My dog Rubio had feelings. He had a heart, a soul.

New NY Times Letter

Dear Editor, I congratulate Bob Herbert on writing Lost in a Flood of Debt. I think it is high time that somebody wrote about the people who like Ms. Levey (and myself) have had to struggle because of mortgage fraud and the threat of foreclosure. Her situation is very similar to mine in that I had very little money to buy food and pay utilities. I could not believe what was happening to me and what I had become. The last thing I had been and wanted to be was a deadbeat. Suddenly I had people calling me at almost all hours asking me to pay them. I  explained that I couldn´t because I had no money. But they didn´t believe me and they kept calling.

It is very easy to blame the borrower and say something like he or she should have known better. Borrower beware? What about the people–like the loan officer, for instance–who should have done their job and not behave unethically? In my case, the loan officer knew what he was doing and I have been paying for it since 2002.

I feel that Bob Herbert´s article speaks to me. I feel that he respects people like Ms. Levey and me. Eugenia Renskoff

La Vieja

Ejercicio de Literatura
Por Eugenia Renskoff
26 de Noviembre 2007

La Vieja

–¿Y cuando la internaron en un manicomio?
–No sé exactamente. Dicen que la semana pasada, o hace 10 días, contesto Mariela.
Tiene familia? 2 semanas atrás la vi con 2 perritos. Los llevaba en un carrito y pedía limosna a los que pasaban por la calle.
–Créeme que lo siento mucho. Dicen que la gente que entra a uno de esos lugares no sale más.
–Así es. Pero vos sabes como son las cosas. Esa mujer era un problema. Se la querían sacar de encima.
–¿Dónde estaba viviendo?
–En una casa. Vivía sola con esos perros que vos viste y 8 más.
–Me parece que es un caso parecido al de mi amiga. Nadia llego a sentirse tan mal que un día algo en ella dijo basta. Empezó a descuidarse, a deprimirse. Me daba pena porque había sido una mujer tan brillante, una luchadora como pocas. Nadia en su época fue lo que las jóvenes quieren ser ahora—toda una triunfadora.
–Si, es algo así. Ahora los perros no tienen hogar. Los vecinos les dan de comer, pero necesitan tener un dueño.
–Un problema de nunca acabar, no, Mariela?

Guard Dog

November 21, 2007: Whenever I see a guard dog, I think of Rubio. There was no one else like him in that department. Rubio was the best German Shepherd, the best friend, the best protector.

When?

November 21, 2007: When will the people who had a hand in the mortgage fraud issue get punished? When will they get penalized? I already have in more ways than one.

Falling Apart

November 21, 2007: It is falling apart and falling apart fast. That is all I can say. The storage problem in San Francisco is growing and I have to fix it. There is no way I can lose my stuff, the stuff I have been paying for for so long. It is always money, always money these days. As if nothing else mattered or existed.

Vocacion de las Mujeres

Hola, El tema de hoy es muy interesante. Pienso que no debemos olvidarnos que la mayoria de las mujeres que salen a trabajar no lo hacen por ejercer una vocacion, sino que necesitan trabajar para mantenerse y mantener a sus hijos. Tener una vocacion es importante, la mia es ser escritora, pero la realidad que yo he visto y veo no es la realidad de la que hablaron sus entrevistadas esta tarde. Las mujeres si trabajamos lo hacemos para subsistir. Mas que nada por eso. Eugenia Renskoff

Aristocratic Walks

Monday November 19, 2007: My new little dog and I go on long walks. He leads me to the places that have the best looking houses in the provincia of Buenos Aires. I get tired from walking about 100 blocks a day, but my eyes feast on the mansions and their gardens. There are many architectural styles–English, English/Swiss, French. They are all great. All different.

Not Described

November 11, 2007: I cannot tell you or anyone just why this hurts so deeply, but it does. Being sued, being in debt and often not having enough money to eat or pay my bills is one of the worst experiences ever. It is hitting bottom in many ways, in the most humiliating way.
I wish I had never, ever set foot on GA.