Everything To Say

Friday, May 29, 2009: Everything I want to say seems an impossible task. There is so much locked up inside me and not enough time, not to mention a limitless use computer, to do it with. I still miss Chiquito, my aristocratic dog, very much. And I feel yet again that a war of nerves situation has descended upon me yet again.

I wish my dog Chiquito were still alive and that when I return to Argentina, our long walks would still be possible. But that will not be. Walking by myself where we used to walk is something that I do not look forward to.

Lauchita’s Birthday

Saturday, April 4, 2009: March 29th marked Lauchita’s birthday. I really don’t know when she was born, but she came to live with Rubio and me on Thursday, March 29th, 2006. As far as I am concerned, March 29th is her real birthday. Lauchita has been a treasure. She sleeps with me and gives me everything a pet owner could possibly hope for. Now that Rubio and Chiquito are in Doggie Heaven, Lauchita is It for me. The best cat ever.

Chiquito’s Stamina

Now that I can’t walk the way I used to, I think of my little Pekingese Chiquito even more. If he were alive today, would I be able to keep up with him? Chiquito liked to be out on the street a lot and I don’t think it was because he had been abandoned and had to fend for himself. I believe that at one time Chiquito had an owner who granted his every wish and one of those wishes must have been deep long walks.

Chiquito Guilt

 

Friday, March 6, 2009: I have to get in touch with the neighbor in Argentina who may have neglected caring for Chiquito. There are things over there that need taking care of and this woman is my only link, the only one who can do it. Even so, I feel guilty because while there is no evidence that the Afterlife exists, then Chiquito could feel betrayed by me.

I know that this may sound silly to some people because they will say that Chiquito was only a dog and who cares if a dog has a soul or not? I care and I want him to know that this keeping up some sort of relationship is necessary for the time being.

I can never forget Chiquito not only because he was such a darling dog, but also because I was not able to be there for him the way that he deserved.

Anemia

Wednesday, February 25, 2009: Last night, while listening to an old radio show on CD (The Shadow), I heard the protagonist say something about anemia and how it drains the blood. I know it’s way too late for regrets, but that reminded me of my poor Chiquito and his anemia. The last few days of his life must have been very hard on him. I can’t help but think about Chiquito.

Another Dog Loss

Saturday, February 21, 2009: Because I feel the loss of my little Pekingnese so deeply, I have been trying to sponsor another dog in Argentina. Hard as it is, I had been sending a little money a month for this new dog’s boarding. The money was not a large amount ( just over $20), but in doing so, I felt that I was helping save a life and that I had a new dog to take my Chiquito’s place. Yesterday I was informed that the animal activist in Argentina to whom I had been sending the money, had given the dog to a family. This was done without my knowledge. The woman’s name is Marcela Leonelli. I have

Letter in Spanish to an Animal Activist

Marcela, Me quede muy mal despues de que me diste la noticia de que habias dado a Rita en adopcion. Lo he consultado con la veterinaria de mi gatita en Argentina y ella esta de acuerdo en que no actuaste bien con respecto a mi. Si es cierto que estabas en comunicacion con esa familia que estaba veraneando en Villa Gessell y que perdio una perra parecida a Rita, lo correcto hubiera sido decirmelo, ya que yo estaba contribuyendo en lo que podia para tenerla en ese pensionado de esa sra. y ademas tenia todas las intenciones de adoptarla a mi regreso, que va a ser dentro de muy poco tiempo. Ahora si quiero ayudar a otro perrito/perrita en memoria de mi perrito muerto, voy a desconfiar de las proteccionistas. Que se yo, a la distancia, si actuan de buena fe o no? No solamente lo he perdido a el sino que tambien la he perdido a ella. Esto ocurrio en un espacio de 2 meses. La proxima vez, si alguien que no esta en este momento en el pais se comunica con vos para ayudar pensa en esto: A los perritos si hay que rescatarlos de la calle o de las perreras. Yo misma lo he hecho varias veces. Y por eso, hay que tener respecto y consideracion porque los perritos no tienen plata para pensionados o mata pulgas o vacunas. La gente es la unica que te puede ayudar a vos y a las demas proteccionistas. Conozco de sobra el tema y se que conseguir a alguien que te de algo es muy dificil. De saber vos que habia alguien interesado en Rita, me lo hubieras dicho antes de yo mandarte el giro por medio de la inmobilaria. Le deseo lo mejor a ella, pero te repito. No actuaste correctamente conmigo. Eugenia

Chiquito

February 17, 2009: I will never forget Chiquito. It’s not only because he was my soul mate and understood me as no human being has ever done. He was my dog and I’ve lost him.

My Dogs

A dream about Rubio and Chiquito. They were both alive and living together with me. Rubio and Chiquito were lying on the floor side by side. I took Chiquito for a walk and as we were going down in the elevator a nasty man started to say nasty things to Chiquito and me. I don’t remember what those things were but I do remember how I felt—very much like when Rubio was really alive and the neighbors in the building used to be mean to him for no reason at all.

Our Walks

Monday, February 9, 2009: I remember our walks. When I least expect it, I see Chiquito and me walking down the streets of Vicente Lopez. He and I are walking down to the Rio de La Plata or the train station. The computer that I was using broke and I cannot fix it. I cannot write about Chiquito–about us–the way I want to. But I remember him. To me, to my heart, my little aristocratic dog is still alive and well. He never had anemia. He never died.