It shouldn’t matter now. The experience is way behind me. I loved him loved ago. I didn’t love him because he was an authority figure or couldn’t have a girlfriend and marry out in the open. I didn’t love him because if he had his own biological children, he couldn’t acknowledge them. I just loved him as soon as I saw him. If the Church were to suddenly see the light and make Celibacy optional instead of Obligatory, I wouldn’t benefit by the change. I am not going to get the man I loved back. Nevertheless, I hate the Celibacy Rule as it stands today. It is unnatural and not right. It reminds me of my feelings as a passionate young woman.