Walking the hot pavement of downtown Brooklyn, looking for help; any kind of legal help. There is no way I can afford a paid lawyer. Free legal help is not easy to come by. It is a nightmare—to me this eviction warning is the worst possible kind of nightmare. It comes on top of my foreclosure in GA and on top of 4 more years of uncertainty and agony. If I had known all this and the price, the deep emotional and psychological price, I would have to pay for the sake of a roof over my head, I would have ran the other way. I would have taken my cat and gone off somewhere far with her. I have felt homeless all these years. I have identified myself with the homeless and their plight. I feel that there is no going back—losing one home after another, after another, has changed my life. And it has not been a good change. I could be nice and say stuff like I have learned a lot from these experiences, but what does that matter when I may have to hit the streets again?