Archive for August, 2013

No More

August 26, 2013

No More

 

I wake up. I look at where you used to be—the place on the bed by our pillow. There is no you there. I shake my head in disbelief and close my eyes. My heart sees you as you were not too long ago, in June or July of this year. I smile. I stretch out my arm and my hand touches the edge of the bed. Rest little one. Rest in Heaven. I don’t know what my life will be like without you. Whatever it will be, to me you are not gone. Our souls are together.

Escape

August 26, 2013

Escape

 

You wanted to escape. The little cage was too confining and you weren’t used to it. You pushed your little head up against the top of the cage. It was made of a hard material and wouldn’t break. The cage was the last thing I used to put on top of the red cart. I can see us now—me pushing the cart up and down Park, Madison and Lexington Avenues. You looked through the bars of the metal door until we got to a safe spot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ashes

August 23, 2013

Ashes

 

Lauchita’s ashes! My little cat’s remains fit into a small zip lock bag! I can see her as she was in life, so energetic and feisty and loving! I can feel her kisses when she’d wake me up in the morning—I feel all this as if it were a dream. She’s gone, never to return.

Remember

August 22, 2013

Remember us in our little place in Brooklyn. It is a hot summer late afternoon or early evening. I have just returned home. You sit in one chair and I in the other. It is relax time–I have just washed myself. You look at me in my pink robe. Todo bien? I ask you. You can’t answer me with words, so I say for you: Si, todo bien.

Proud

August 18, 2013

Proud

 

I was so proud of you. The Best Cat Ever, I used to say. You’re the best cat ever. I don’t have you anymore. A bad illness has taken you away from me and you’ll never come back. I’ll always love you. Your water container is waiting for you. I change the water everyday as I did when you were alive. You are in Kitty Heaven, where there are rivers upon rivers of fresh, sparkling water. Up there no one will put a syringe in your mouth, you won’t have to swallow any more pills that taste disagreeable or strange to you. You eat because you want to, not because you’re being force -fed. Your life has let you escape all that mess. The price we had to pay for that to happen was high. I’ll never see you again in the flesh. I’ll keep on remembering you. I’ll hear your voice calling me as it did when you needed me. I’ll think you are here, in our room. My hand will open the door. Gatita, gatita, I’ll say. Where are you? The room will be empty. And my heart will know you’re gone.

 

Lau

August 17, 2013

Lauchita–March 29, 2003–Sunday, August 11, 2013. My beloved cat. Living with you for 7 years, 4 months and 13 days was being in Heaven. Que descanses en Paz. Rest in Peace.

Little Head

August 11, 2013

Your Little Head

 

I can see your little head next to mine. Do you remember those cold nights when we used to snuggle? Come, come, I’d say. It’s nice and warm here. You’d get comfortable under the covers of our bed. I will never forget how we comforted each other. Your happy eyes looked up at me in the dark.

Our Gift

August 11, 2013

Given

 

You have given me so much. What can I do to repay you? I can see to it that you don’t suffer anymore. I can make the last hours comfortable. I can be with you as much as possible. I already love you enough for 2 lifetimes. We will be together no matter what. We are a team, just the two of us. Death will not separate us.

 

 

Maybe

August 10, 2013

Maybe

 

Am I making too much of this? I am so jealous when I see you with her. I don’t want you to forget me, to put aside the hours we had. Maybe I should just ignore you from now on. I don’t know what else to try.

 

 

All

August 7, 2013

 

All

 

All this. Just look at it. All this is ours. The beauty, the sun and the strong wind blowing our hair. It will still be here when we are gone.

 

Was it only last week? We were together for the last time then. It doesn’t matter. Because in our hearts we will always be us, going to our favorite places. We’ll keep going wherever we want. Nothing can come between us.