Archive for November, 2017

Confidant

November 28, 2017

I can. I can confide in you. I can tell you everything. I can trust you with my secrets. I can trust you with what’s deep inside my soul. You are me and I am you. We are.

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Why?

November 28, 2017

Why should it? Why does everything that happens to you happen to me too? Why should I care if you are sick or are going through a difficult time? Why is that so important to me? There is drama in you. There is lots of drama, lots of up and down, almost at the precipice moments. I care. I truly care. Figuring out why is something I have been doing since the day I met you.

Fun

November 25, 2017

Fun

Fun, please tell me what fun I have had and when. I have hardly ever had any fun. There hasn’t been any laughter or even a smile in my life in the past 10 or more years. It has been a struggle, a hard and harsh uphill struggle and I have coped with it as best I could. I have been brave, or tried to be brave. I have been patient. I have done this and that, but fun, laughing and having my heart full of joy? No, that hasn’t happened. I am waiting for it, but getting it is just about impossible.

 

 

 

 

 

My Heart Speaks to You

November 24, 2017

My Heart Speaks to You

You don’t want to know, do you? You don’t want to realize that you should be doing something differently, something that will change your life and possibly mine? No. You would rather not recognize our bond. You don’t want to see it or acknowledge it. It would be hard for you to take, hard to deal with. You don’t want to do that. Your life as it is now hurts you, it hurts you deeply, but you keep doing what cannot make it better. You hurt yourself and you hurt me. Watching you suffer is one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Being impotent, helpless and not be able to make you see the light is something I wish I could avoid. You have been told many times, not only by me but by others: Stop! Do not go where the harm is. What makes you self destruct? What happened in your life beforeI met you that now all you do is forget to live?

 

 

Follow the Eyes

November 16, 2017

Follow the Eyes

The cat is inside the cage. Seated against the bars, he is holding tight to his body. The man walks by him. The cat’s eyes are wide; they look at the man. The eyes follow the man as he goes towards the kitchen. The man goes to his seat in the middle of the room. The cat keeps on holding tight. He looks down at his food and water bowls. The man glances at the cat. He shakes his head hard. Unreal He’s still here, he mutters.

 

Safe

November 4, 2017

Safe

I have not felt safe. I do not feel safe because I am not.  I don’t know what safety is anymore. The last time I felt safe was so many years ago; maybe it was when I was a child and didn’t know what was to come. A safe place to live; a place with no threats of eviction, with no threats of anything harmful to me—all this seems an unreachable and impossible dream. It is a far away event. I can’t even remember it anymore. I dread what will happen next.