Archive for the ‘displacement’ Category

Threats

January 16, 2019

Threats

How many threats can there be in this world? How many threats of being displaced, of having nowhere to go, of being up in the air? The suitcases, the suitcases to be pushed and dragged from here to there are a total nightmare. How many feelings and emotions to go through, to repress so that one doesn’t start screaming and yelling out of sheer agony? Self -control is the thing. Self -control is what it’s all about. It works in order to go on, to be awake one more day. But the threats do hurt. They’re a constant reminder of not being safe, not being secure no matter what is done.

 

 

 

 

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Something?

January 10, 2019

Something?

He walked by and stopped in front of the woman on the sidewalk. Here, the man said. I have something for you. He reached in his pocket. The coin made a slight noise. She looked inside the cup. A quarter—is this it? You think that this is something? Is this what you call it? The thoughts never made it out. Instead she said thank you. After he crossed the street, she shivered.

 

 

 

 

Home

January 3, 2019

Home

The key is gone. I don’t have it anymore. It is no longer mine. I had to give it up; I was forced to surrender it. But if I go back to the streets and look at the houses, I am home. There is no need to pass by the place where I lived. I don’t have to do that in order to feel that I am in place—my place. There is no other home for me. No matter how often I have to move or how many places I see, the house I lost is the one that will stay in my mind and in my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

How?

December 18, 2018

How?

How could you? How dare you? What made you think that you could put me in a place where I would feel dressed in rags? That’s how I feel right now. I am a woman wearing a short grey dress with holes in it; the holes are big. It is windy and the wind slaps my face. I am outside in the middle of the sidewalk. I clutch a long black shawl around my shoulders. The shawl is thin and the wind and the cold penetrate my bones. I shudder and I wince. I don’t want to be in the middle of anywhere feeling the weather as if it were my enemy. I don’t want to be here period. I dream of a nice cozy room where I will be drinking a cup of tea. I want comfort; love. I have none of these things.

 

 

Safe

December 14, 2018

Safe—that is the word, the dear lamented word. Safe, as in safety, being sure that one is in a good place. The hope of that happening is over, it is done. There is no safety, no peace, in moving around here and there. There is no safety in getting rained on in the middle of the night. There is no safety in the hated word Eviction. Safety has been missing. It is gone and no one knows where. Safe is being in a nice warm room drinking tea and reading a good classic. Safety is having someone’s arms holding you. He tells you that everything will work out—not eventually as in a distant future but now, ASAP.

Watching You

December 12, 2018

Watching

I watch you. I see you. I look at you. I stare. Disbelief describes my feelings. What has become of you? Why are you this man, stretched out on the floor, this man who is here but not here? What happened to you that hurts this bad? You rarely come alive now. I see brief bits and pieces of the person I care for so much. You are best when you remember the past that once made you happy, the past that is no more. I care about you without knowing why. Nice is hardly the word that fits you. When you are in a bad mood I cringe. It is the end of the story that I am afraid of—the end of what will be it for you and me.

 

Green Bag

December 3, 2018

Green Bag

He was short—he or she was short. The body was stretched out on the floor. A hoodie covered his or her head. He or she wore black pants and a dark jacket. A green bag was next to his or her head. It was Sunday afternoon and the subway station in Midtown Manhattan was busy. People got in and out of the trains. The body slept. It didn’t care about Sunday rush hour.

 

 

 

 

The Stray

October 26, 2018

The Stray

His fur shone; he shivered. The rain had caught him by surprise. Mr. Black came at night to ask for food. He bumped his head against the window. The woman grabbed a can of wet food from her stash. Someone’s hand stopped her. You are not going out. He’s a stray. She looked at the person. The person just doesn’t get it, she thought. Your hands are strong. Nevertheless, I have to feed him. He is not doing you or me or anybody any harm. She ran out to the door, opened the outer gate and put the contents of the can in a small plate. The cat went for it as if he hadn’t eaten in days.

 

Brutal–101

October 11, 2018

Brutal—101

The rain—she hated the rain. It came down, down hard and it wouldn’t stop. The morning began out on the sidewalk, with the people walking past her. Some carried umbrellas and some wore raincoats. She had her cup next to her so that they wouldn’t think that she was there just to read the free daily paper. Being out was important to her; for now it was her job, her only job. But the water spoiled everything—she got wet and her arms shivered. Her whole body shook.  When she crossed the street to get to the phone booth, the only refuge she knew, the extra water on the asphalt went up to her ankles. Her shoes would take forever to dry later in the evening. She had to do this. She had to see it through. Life was the way it was; nothing much for now to do about it.

 

 

                                                                                                                             

 

 

My Heart

September 27, 2018

My Heart

You are going. You are leaving me and I don’t want to let you go. I haven’t seen you much lately, but I have never forgotten you. You are going to a place that is not ready for me yet. It is far away; my time will come one day but not now. What will I do knowing that I will not see you, that I will not be able to touch your body? There will be no more visits to your new home. You won’t be around to motivate me. I can never stop caring about you. I can never want pain and misery for you. If your life continues, you will suffer. That is unacceptable.