Archive for the ‘My Cat’ Category

Nasty Neighbor

October 5, 2017


There was a knock on the door, a heavy knock. The woman opened the door. She saw a bleached blonde standing before her. Oh, yes, the neighbor from the second floor, she thought. The blonde’s face was angry; her wrinkles were prominent. Do you know that your cat meows during the night? Is he feral? Feral? Of course, he isn’t feral. He’s a stray I am fostering. You’re not fostering him. He hasn’t even seen a vet. Yes, he has seen a vet, the woman behind the door said. Then why is he meowing. That’s what cats do. You bitch! I am going to call the ASPCA. I’m going to have you kicked out. Don’t call the ASPCA. On second thought call them. I’m helping the cat. The woman on the inside of the door shrugged her shoulders. Enough! I am tired of these people. If it’s not one, it’s another. Unsafe—now I feel more unsafe about housing than ever. It’s like I can never be home. I can never have my little sure thing space somewhere, anywhere.






















April 18, 2017


Who will tell you not to seek out danger? Who will say to you: Don’t do this because no one will bail you out? When you climb down the stairs to go out into the street who is going to talk to you in a firm voice, a voice that will stop you from using the half open door?  Are you listening to other commanding now or are you, as usual,  with people who expect others to rescue you? Are you with those who will hit you because you are on the couch taking a rest? How can I protect you now? I don’t know where you are anymore.




March 22, 2017


I have lost my 2 cats. They’re gone. Somebody opened the door(or didn’t let them back in)  and they are nowhere to be seen. I don’t know where they are. I cared for them. I fed them. I rescued them when they got in trouble; when they were on the rooftop or on the street somewhere. I was and am their true owner. I actually cared what happened to them. I miss my cats. I wonder where they are; whther they are cold or hungry or in some sort of danger. little Big One and Young Miss. I named them. Before that they had no names. Young Miss was always hungry. She could eat anything and everything. I never saw a cat, male or female, with as much appetite as she had. Who is feeding her now? Young Miss used to go out, then meow at the kitchen window to be inside again. Little Big One liked danger. Before he was neutered they would let him out and he’d disappear for hours.At first,  Little Big One did not know what obedience was. I taught him. He learned to listen to me when I told him not to do something  that wasn’t good for him. Whoever says they owned them–those people don’t know what they’re talking about. They l ike to manipulate, to twist things around and appear in the right when they’re not. They let other people do what they should have done: be caring pet owners.


No There

October 26, 2016

No There

No, little one, my little one. Please, I beg of you. I ask you nicely because I love you. Do not. Just do not go there. Don’t dare run to the doors of the other rooms. Walk around for 2 minutes, no more than 2, and come right back to our room.  Someone can see you in the living room and they’ll tell the fat man. The fat man will manipulate his words to make it look like he is the decent one and that you and I disrespect his free house. He’s very good at that, at saying things in such a way that make him seem respectable. Please, my little cat, forgive me. I am so sorry. I want you to be free. I want me to be free. This is not the place for that.

Clap, Clap

August 12, 2016

Clap, Clap

The cat was just there, looking around her. A man walked by the cat and clapped, once, twice. The cat ran to the other end of the living room. Don’t you dare, she said, to do that to my cat. If you don’t want her to be there, be polite and tell me so. The man said shut up and went into the bathroom.  As soon as he opened the door, the woman repeated her request, this time in Spanish.  I have to tell you, she told him, that I am tired of your lack of respect towards me. The man said something about this being his house and almost shut the door in her face. How can this be your house? You don’t pay rent. Please go back to Mexico. Did you just threaten me with the ICE Group, the man’s voice was shrill. Maria, she threatened me with Ice, he said to the woman in the bedroom.  I did no such thing. I just said you are a rude person. She shrugged her shoulders and went back to her room. I have to get out of here, she told her cat. This is just too, too stressful. We don’t deserve this kind of life.






August 11, 2016


I don’t know what tribute to offer you. None will do justice to what you did for me. None will get you back for me. I will not sleep with your little face against mine; I will not see you when I wake up in the morning. I can never pet you again, or feed you or take you to the vet. All I can do is say thank you. You were in my life. We were together. If any cat was or is better than you, I never met such a cat. When I found you on the street that day in March, it was better than finding a treasure.




You Can’t

June 27, 2016

You Can’t

I am so sorry. You just cannot move freely here. I have to tell you when to start. I need to open the door, go out into the kitchen and living room. I make sure that the cost is clear. Then and only then can you move in a limited way. Please do not ask me why this is so. I cannot explain it. This is a house but it is not a house. I have no idea what it is. Maybe it is just a bed.



First Night

June 9, 2016

First Night

They left the building at about 5 in the afternoon. They didn’t know where they were going. They had no place anymore. There was no such thing as home. That was over and done with. For whatever reason, they were out. The taxi drove them to the church. It was a quick and cheap ride. The woman and her cat slept near its steps. The cat moved around in her cage. It was not the bed she was used to, the bed with the cushy comforter and the easy pillows. She had slept on that bed last night and the night before and for months before that. Now inside this small space she was trapped. She didn’t understand this new environment. From time to time the woman opened the cage to feed her and put more water in the water bowl. What next? What now? The night never seemed to end. The woman couldn’t sleep sitting up. She looked inside the cage every half an hour or so. The cat’s brown fur reminded her of someone’s eyes. She didn’t remember who those eyes belonged to, but at one point in her life, they took her breath away. At 6 A.M. the woman took the cat’s cage and her suitcase. She walked on, one heavy step at a time until she found a Starbucks. From now on, Starbucks would provide her (for about $2) with a cup of morning coffee and a bathroom.
















October 27, 2015

The house, that apt. we lived in. I went by it yesterday. For a moment, I wanted to walk up the steps and go inside. But then I remembered. I don’t have the key anymore. It isn’t ours. We don’t live in it together, like we did last year. You don’t live with me now. You moved up to a better apt, while I moved elsewhere. I miss you so much, my little one. I miss being near you, taking care of you. You gave me so much love and comfort. I thank you for that. My heart is not satisfied. It wants us to be living in the same place ASAP.

The Cat from 5A

June 14, 2015

You waited for me behind the door. I opened it and you would chirp like a tiny bird. And you’d run to the kitchen. It was food time and you didn’t let me forget it. I loved you before I even saw you in real life. The sadness of you caught my heart. The shelter pictures showed a brown little thing with some shades of orange in her fur. I wanted to adopt you so I could protect you.  Now you are staying elsewhere for a few days; I miss you as if you had been gone for months. I will open another door tonight and you won’t be there to greet me. We will not be watching movies on TV. I want you back. You are my family. We belong together for whatever time we have left.