Archive for the ‘Family Life’ Category

The Shadow Cat

May 19, 2019

The Shadow Cat

I call you. You look at me, but go the other way, towards the kitchen. You are in a new place; the apt. is beautiful and neat. It is not cluttered; it is not cramped with no room to move. I call you again; I tell you how much I miss you. I love you, my little girl. I want you near me again. Something emotional—it is a deep feeling. I have done without you for almost 6 months. Sometimes I look up to the places you used to hide in in the kitchen. And I imagine you have not left. I didn’t take you to somebody else’s home. As far as I am concerned, you are still with me. I smile and with my heart I bless you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What was It?

May 1, 2019

What?

Something happened to you. What was it? Where does that anger in your face, in your body, come from? Where does the energy to make people uncomfortable come? What happened to you long ago, probably when you were a kid? Do you mind if instead of love, you see fear in the ones you deal with? Do you mind pain that has no end, nothing good in sight? All these are unanswered questions, questions that you need to get to the bottom of before it’s too late.

 

 

 

 

The Eyes, Part 2

March 12, 2019

The Eyes, Part 2

The eyes—they are wide open. The eyes watch the person and the person’s back.  The TV is on and the person laughs at something.  The back and the arms move. The eyes belonging to the body with whiskers and 4 legs grow wider. They look from the person to the window and from the window to the door. The animal’s body tenses up and it moves to the back of the bed.  The cat’s ears are now stuck to the head. A woman on the bed stretches out her arms. She touches the cat’s head. “I understand, baby. I know how you feel. Nothing will happen. Nothing can happen because I am with you.”  The animal looks at her; the body relaxes. The eyes keep watching the person.

The Eyes

March 6, 2019

His ears were almost glued to the back of his head. His eyes looked at the person across the room; they were fully aware. The animal’s body was stiff to the touch. Was the person going to move? What was the person going to do? When was the person going to do it, whatever it was? He made himself smaller. The person had his back turned to him. The animal turned his head towards his family member. “It’s fine. It’s perfectly fine,” the family member told him. “I will protect you. You can count on that.” The animal’s body relaxed a bit, but not much. The family member sighed. Crying wouldn’t do anything now. She closed her eyes. “Stay with me.”

Live

February 14, 2019

Live

I want to live! She told him. I don’t want to be a drudge anymore. I hate this plain old dress! I want to be like the other girls and wear pretty clothes. I want to live! She lifted her tear-stained face for him to see that she meant what she said. Tears, real tears, meant real pain. He patted her shoulder and tried a smile. I know, sweetie. I know. You are a normal girl. You just don’t live a normal life. He got up from the edge of her bed. I’ll see what I can do, he said and went back to the kitchen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Loss

February 12, 2019

The Loss

 

It is incredible. The loss of you is something I can’t get over. I can’t put my feelings under the rug. They are too deep, too intense. They exist and they can’t be denied. They were only there because of you. You were my feelings. You were the life I dreamed of, the fantasy come true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smell of You

February 12, 2019

Smell of You

 

It will choke me or the words will have me explode ifI don’t say them. Then I will not be able to live. The smell of you was in the air tonight. It caught me unawares and I remembered. In my mind’s eye I saw the light green courdoroy jacket I used to wear when we went out together. I saw us walking down the street. I smiled with you, but I also cried. I was happy and I was sad. It didn’t matter. I was with you.

 

Remember

January 10, 2019

Remember

Everything—I remember everything. I remember the anguish. I remember your discomfort and my inability to lessen it. You were in pain and there was nothing I could do. That night seemed endless. I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t want you to go. How could I keep you when death wanted to grab you? I was losing my friend; I was losing the years we had spent together—the time we had been apart. I couldn’t sleep; you couldn’t either. You sat on your blanket. The bed sores had not gone away. They were big and red. You were my troubled one, but I didn’t care. I loved you. I loved the good times and the bad times too. They came to take you early the next morning. They put you in the back of a van. I followed in a taxi. The driver kept talking. His voice was loud and I wished he would stop. I wanted to say: Don’t you understand? He’s dying and I will miss him forever. He’s more than my best friend. I could say nothing. We reached the doctor’s office. One injection wasn’t enough. Two—you needed two. I cried when I touched your body. Your physical life was over.

 

Home

January 3, 2019

Home

The key is gone. I don’t have it anymore. It is no longer mine. I had to give it up; I was forced to surrender it. But if I go back to the streets and look at the houses, I am home. There is no need to pass by the place where I lived. I don’t have to do that in order to feel that I am in place—my place. There is no other home for me. No matter how often I have to move or how many places I see, the house I lost is the one that will stay in my mind and in my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Come Here

December 31, 2018

Come Here

The room was dark. She liked it that way. She didn’t want to see what was in the room. The black and white cat made sounds. He cried more than he meowed. The woman walked from the tiny kitchen to the bed. She sat on the edge. “Come here,” she said patting the bed. The cat went from his place in the window to where she was. She smiled and patted the bed again. He looked at her. Her left hand touched his fur. She liked his fur. He needed and appreciated her affection; the fur reminded her of silk and velvet. Silk and velvet were her favorite fabrics before homelessness and eviction became her old acquaintances. “Come here, little guy. Stay with me.” She looked at the person stretched out on the floor.  He had been sleeping for a long time. “Yes, please stay near me and keep me company.”