Archive for the ‘Family Life’ Category

Live

February 14, 2019

Live

I want to live! She told him. I don’t want to be a drudge anymore. I hate this plain old dress! I want to be like the other girls and wear pretty clothes. I want to live! She lifted her tear-stained face for him to see that she meant what she said. Tears, real tears, meant real pain. He patted her shoulder and tried a smile. I know, sweetie. I know. You are a normal girl. You just don’t live a normal life. He got up from the edge of her bed. I’ll see what I can do, he said and went back to the kitchen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Loss

February 12, 2019

The Loss

 

It is incredible. The loss of you is something I can’t get over. I can’t put my feelings under the rug. They are too deep, too intense. They exist and they can’t be denied. They were only there because of you. You were my feelings. You were the life I dreamed of, the fantasy come true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smell of You

February 12, 2019

Smell of You

 

It will choke me or the words will have me explode ifI don’t say them. Then I will not be able to live. The smell of you was in the air tonight. It caught me unawares and I remembered. In my mind’s eye I saw the light green courdoroy jacket I used to wear when we went out together. I saw us walking down the street. I smiled with you, but I also cried. I was happy and I was sad. It didn’t matter. I was with you.

 

Remember

January 10, 2019

Remember

Everything—I remember everything. I remember the anguish. I remember your discomfort and my inability to lessen it. You were in pain and there was nothing I could do. That night seemed endless. I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t want you to go. How could I keep you when death wanted to grab you? I was losing my friend; I was losing the years we had spent together—the time we had been apart. I couldn’t sleep; you couldn’t either. You sat on your blanket. The bed sores had not gone away. They were big and red. You were my troubled one, but I didn’t care. I loved you. I loved the good times and the bad times too. They came to take you early the next morning. They put you in the back of a van. I followed in a taxi. The driver kept talking. His voice was loud and I wished he would stop. I wanted to say: Don’t you understand? He’s dying and I will miss him forever. He’s more than my best friend. I could say nothing. We reached the doctor’s office. One injection wasn’t enough. Two—you needed two. I cried when I touched your body. Your physical life was over.

 

Home

January 3, 2019

Home

The key is gone. I don’t have it anymore. It is no longer mine. I had to give it up; I was forced to surrender it. But if I go back to the streets and look at the houses, I am home. There is no need to pass by the place where I lived. I don’t have to do that in order to feel that I am in place—my place. There is no other home for me. No matter how often I have to move or how many places I see, the house I lost is the one that will stay in my mind and in my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Come Here

December 31, 2018

Come Here

The room was dark. She liked it that way. She didn’t want to see what was in the room. The black and white cat made sounds. He cried more than he meowed. The woman walked from the tiny kitchen to the bed. She sat on the edge. “Come here,” she said patting the bed. The cat went from his place in the window to where she was. She smiled and patted the bed again. He looked at her. Her left hand touched his fur. She liked his fur. He needed and appreciated her affection; the fur reminded her of silk and velvet. Silk and velvet were her favorite fabrics before homelessness and eviction became her old acquaintances. “Come here, little guy. Stay with me.” She looked at the person stretched out on the floor.  He had been sleeping for a long time. “Yes, please stay near me and keep me company.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Box

September 12, 2018

The Box

I open the box—I open it just a little bit. I’ve heard so much about the contents of the box! There are beautiful things in it, incredibly exciting things that I’ve never seen before. The colors are bright and alive—blue, yellow, red and pink. There is no black. There would never be anything black inside the box. There would not be anything grey; grey is dreary and drab. I stare at everything; my mouth is open. I can’t believe what I see. From nowhere, someone’s hand slaps my hand. My fingers hurt and I quickly pull them away. I want to cry, but I can’t. When will I see what is inside the box again? Passion—I love the passion the box inspires in me. I enjoy life because of the box.

 

 

 

Drama!

August 17, 2018

Drama!

Drama—it’s the drama. The drama keeps me going. The drama gives me whatever life I have left. I need to stand out, to have people see me and point their finger at me. There! There I am! Look at me! I need you to look at me! I get a kick out of the stress of the moment. There are many moments of stress in my life, one after the other. They never stop. I feel like a God. I am Somebody. I am not nothing; the nothing I’ve become. I am an important person again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beer Feet

July 23, 2018

Beer Feet

He stumbled; he fell on the floor. I am alright, he told her. Everything’s fine. She looked at him and shook her head. She helped him sit on the cushion. Her bare feet felt something. She bent over with a paper towel and wiped the floor. Beer! It’s beer! The floor is all full of beer. The cans were empty. I fell because of the water, he said. No, it’s the beer; I can smell it a mile away, she answered. He put his head on the cushion by the wall. He grabbed the blanket and covered his face.

 

 

 

Planes

June 7, 2018

Planes

Long ago—it was long ago. All those days of rushing from plane to plane, from city to city happened years and years ago. There was the need to do something, to be somewhere. There was the need to be somebody, somebody important, a person who got things done. Fatigue did not exist then. The word was nowhere near the vocabulary. The eagerness to be with the ones I loved, the ones I truly loved—all that is gone now. It is done.