Posts Tagged ‘Forbidden Love’


August 6, 2017

Believe me! Please believe me! Look at my face. My eyes have to tell you something. Don’t die! Please don’t die! I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to feel empty again. I hurt because I am not with you. If the final thing were to happen, I’d be devastated. Yes, I am being selfish. Promise me you will take care of yourself. Wherever you are, I want you with life.



March 28, 2017


This isn’t happening. It is not supposed to happen. You and I are standing by ourselves within 2 or 3 feet from one another. We don’t dare to get close. We feel, but we shouldn’t feel. I don’t dare walk to where you are. I could pretend that I need to ask you something, but if I do, my eyes would tell you things you don’t want to know. There is no one. You are the dream of my life. There is no other.







November 3, 2016

Proud. I am proud of my feelings. I could shout them out standing on the street. I could tell them all how much I love you. I could tell you what you will forever mean to me. But I can’t. Not even you must know. You must never guess. Perhaps you would look at me and not understand.  I do not look like the type who loves deeply. Not me, with my simple little dress. The dress is off brown, a dirty type of off brown. The buttons are dark red. It is too big for me. It hides the real me. And my shoes are plain ordinary walking shoes, tied up with black shoe laces. I am a prim and repressed little thing to you. To you I am not a passionate woman. I am just invisible.


October 27, 2016

I know. Now I know where to go. Now I understand what it means. The medium shade of green, the peace, the calmness where nothing bad happens. It is where you and I were. It is  near where you and I lived. The tranquility and you go together. They are with me always, in my heart and in my thoughts. We are always at the park surrounded by what we love. You and I are always smiling, and looking into each other’s eyes.

How Long

October 8, 2016

How Long

Tell me, how long has it been? How many years exactly? We met, I know. I remember that. It was on a Monday and I couldn’t believe who I was being introduced to. I lowered my eyes when we shook hands; I was young and didn’t know what to say beyond: nice to meet you. I saw something familiar in you, something I believed I saw somewhere else but didn’t remember where. Even now I can’t quite put my finger on what it was. It must have been the unusual place or how handsome you looked. You were a significant shadow, the beginning of something unforgettable.




November 12, 2015


It is it. Rather, it is them. And it is sometimes only them. They are the protagonists, the stars of the story. They are the stars of the conflict that consumes their existence. It is them and only them. They care. Nothing in their lives is as important as that, their drama. Sometimes it is pride. Pride is the culprit, the guilty party. Sometimes inexperience about sex, about love and what it means is the one. That can hit a young person suddenly and unexpectedly. What does this mean? Why am I feeling this way? What can come after this? What can I do to learn? I am afraid. I don’t know why it didn’t happen sooner. I like it. I love it. I have no one to talk to about this. Who can I trust? The people I know are not my age; they are a lot older and they may not understand. I feel alone. I feel isolated. I don’t want this experience to go away ever. If it were up to me, it would last forever. I’d be near him forever. I would never leave him. To go away would hurt me. And I would come back over and over again. I would do that just to see him, just to be near him.


November 12, 2015

They care. Sometimes it is only them. The protagonists, the people involved in the matter, in the conflict, care. It is their story. It is part of their lives. The drama belongs to them and to no one else. If they fail, it is because of their flaws or their unwillingness to give in. Sometimes their pride betrays them. Other times, it is something else. Often inexperience is the culprit. Inexperience about love and sex. Sex is one of the subjects that wasn’t talked about in other years. Children were not supposed to know that there was such a thing as sex. When they became teenagers and young adults, they were baffled, confused. Why am I feeling this way? What does it mean? Fear. Fear of finding out more. Fear of knowing more because you might not have the person you love.


October 24, 2013


My heart. My heart races. I think of you. I will see you soon. Meeting with you today will be such an important event! I smile. When was the last time I felt as happy as now? I can’t remember. Thank you. Thank you for being you.





June 6, 2012

 How can I tell you what it meant to me? It meant life; it gave me life. It was something to strive for, something I looked forward to. I enjoyed. I cried. I laughed. I was unsure. I was sure. I knew. I didn’t know. I cared. I didn’t care what others thought of me. I got up in the morning wanting to go out into the world. I had a purpose. I had a goal. I had love. I held a dream in the palm of my hand.

Confessing My Love

January 14, 2009

Wednesday, January 14, 2009: Once, a long time ago, I confessed my love to a priest. I stood in front of him and told him I loved him. I have never regretted that moment. If I had not said anything, I would have exploded.