Posts Tagged ‘nightmare’


May 11, 2017

She stared at him. People were watching from the still open doors of the shuttle train. They were looking at him. He always commanded center stage. A sidebar, that’s what I am, she thought, just a simple ordinary sidebar, a cipher.. She swallowed hard before she spoke: What are you saying? What am I supposed to have done, according to you. He looked at her. You manipulated everything. You did it on purpose. You say you did it selflessly, but it is not true. It is not true at all. All you women are alike. You are greedy. She could not believe it. Was this the person she had risked so much to shelter? What had happened to change him? Something must have happened, but there was no way of finding out. In the meantime, she was the one who needed to take action, to do something positive for herself. Otherwise, after he left her life, there’d be another and another and another man to treat her like garbage. She was nowhere near garbage. He knew it. She had proved that over and over again. The undocumented immigrant from Hell had treated her in a bad way. The last thing she wanted was a repeat performance of that nightmare.






July 20, 2012


It is a nightmare. I can’t shake it. I can’t even cry. All my eyes are able to do is look surprised when I am told how bad my situation is. I wonder if it can get worse. If it can, what will that be—what will happen? I have already lost my home; I have wandered the streets and now this. After all this time, I am still homeless. I look everywhere for a sign, for a way out. I tell myself that I am smart and that I should be find something—anything is better than this. It is a future without hope.



IRS Hell

October 19, 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008: Yesterday I received yet another unsettling letter from the IRS. They insist that I owe $5,000+ for 2003. I had mortgages that year, common charges and I did not make any money. There was no choice for me but to live on my savings. 2003 was an awful year because that’s when the horror of the mortgage fraud started to become apparent. I had nowhere to turn, nothing to help me. though I sought help as well as advice. Now I need to know how to resolve this problem and get back on my feet once and for all. I cannot describe my feelings since I read that new IRS letter. It’s like the nightmare of the Georgia foreclosure happening all over again. Over and over again.

Surreal Move

June 17, 2008

Tuesday, June 17, 2008: I am supposed to move on the 20th, and there is no way for me to go to the new place. I feel that I am in standing on quicksand. I try not to think about it (at least not much) because I can’t let myself cry. I can’t be vulnerable. That would be it for me. I’d be gone.