Down

July 22, 2014

What was she doing here in this hot weather? The day was hot and humid, yet going in and out of the subway would have been too expensive. Her chin hit the sidewalk. It happened almost without her realizing it. One minute she was up and the next down. Her whole body hurt but the chin got the worst of it. he hoped someone in the street full of people would offer to help her up. No one did. he struggled up again as best she could, picking up her purse. She shook her head and on she went. The day was too bright to think about heartlessness.

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The Shadow Cat

May 19, 2019

The Shadow Cat

I call you. You look at me, but go the other way, towards the kitchen. You are in a new place; the apt. is beautiful and neat. It is not cluttered; it is not cramped with no room to move. I call you again; I tell you how much I miss you. I love you, my little girl. I want you near me again. Something emotional—it is a deep feeling. I have done without you for almost 6 months. Sometimes I look up to the places you used to hide in in the kitchen. And I imagine you have not left. I didn’t take you to somebody else’s home. As far as I am concerned, you are still with me. I smile and with my heart I bless you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Cracker

May 16, 2019

The Cracker

The man in the beat up clothes stopped in the middle of the busy avenue. From somewhere in his big black suitcase, he took out a bag. He opened it and bit on a cracker; one bite, then two, then three bites. The woman sitting by the curb looked at him. He looked at her; her eyes went to stare at the sidewalk. As soon as he finished eating, the man sighed and grabbed the handle of the suitcase pulling it hard towards the bus stop. The woman watched as he struggled with the weight of 2 large plastic bags on top of the suitcase. How much more difficult than this can a man’s life be?

 

Process Server

May 16, 2019

Process Server

Someone was knocking on the door. No. It can’t be. It isn’t that again. This is not happening. It should not have happened even once, that time so long ago. She swallowed hard and opened the door. She might as well get it . Hi, the man standing before her had an envelope in his hand. Are you the tenant? Yes, she told him. Here is something that you need to sign for me. The man gave her a legal-looking document and a pen. Thank you, she said. There was no need to read beyond the word she already knew by heart: Eviction. She wanted to run away very far and hide, not have to see or have anything to do with being displaced again. She couldn’t let the man see how she felt; she became a good actress. Her smile was brief but bright. Here, I have signed it. Have a good day, the man said. Same to you, she said and closed the door. She grabbed the door knob. I don’t want to let go. I don’t want to move.

 

What was It?

May 1, 2019

What?

Something happened to you. What was it? Where does that anger in your face, in your body, come from? Where does the energy to make people uncomfortable come? What happened to you long ago, probably when you were a kid? Do you mind if instead of love, you see fear in the ones you deal with? Do you mind pain that has no end, nothing good in sight? All these are unanswered questions, questions that you need to get to the bottom of before it’s too late.

 

 

 

 

Life Struggles

April 24, 2019

Life Struggles

Why did it happen? Why did I even bother to make myself grow up? Why did I learn what I learned if it all means I can’t have what I want? I know what I want, what I need, but all I got is the word settle or that the phrase: No, it is not for you. Forget about it. I did all the effort; I forced myself to face the facts, to be brave and so bold, just so I can get the doors shut in my face. How can be me, the real me, if I have to pretend to be someone else?

Taker

April 11, 2019

Take

The taking—it never stops. The hands grab stuff from this and that person, from this and that incident. The hands are greedy. They are smart. They know who has the money and who doesn’t. They can smell vulnerability and apparent helplessness a mile or so away. The hands take; then the body sleeps. The body sleeps to forget.

 

 

Wonder

April 11, 2019

Wonder

Where? Where did they all go? Where did I go? What happened to them? What happened to me? I can’t find them. I can’t find the person that I am, that I know myself to be. The dreams, the hopes, everything is gone. I am gone too—never to return the way that I know deep in my heart and soul. I am stranded here on the street. I am crying out and no one sees. I live a situation I dislike intensely. I live Hell.

 

The Invisible One

April 3, 2019

The Invisible One

The hand knitted purple hat is on her head. The black plastic cape covers her body   when the heavy wind allows it to. A transparent plastic cup is next to her. She’s by the curb and she sits waiting for a donation–a penny, a nickel, a dime. It doesn’t matter what. People walk by carrying bags of food. The brown paper bags look heavy. I wish I could have some of that, she thinks. She almost says: Leftovers welcome here.No, she hasn’t reached that point yet–not just yet. She sits by the curb smelling the food.

 

 

 

                         

 

 

Never

April 3, 2019

Never

It never leaves you–never, ever. It never goes away, no matter where you go or what you do. You are stuck with it. You cannot get rid of it and it cannot get rid of you. It is the feeling of hopelessness, the feeling of failure. Something good should have happened to you and your life but it did not. It happened to someone else, to the people you see walking down the street. They wear beautiful clothes and carry expensive handbags with initials like YSL. You, on the other hand, look like a bum. Your shoes are worn out and your pants have seen too many better days. You are a good you; it does not matter. What they wear, those other people, and how they carry themselves counts for something. You don’t.

 

Sister?

March 18, 2019

Sister

The woman sat on the sidewalk. Two people walked past her. The man asked: Do you have a dollar for us, sister? The woman standing next to him said nothing. She looked down at the sidewalk. The first woman opening her mouth wide  said: No, I have no money. She wanted to tell the man: What do mean asking me for money? I am sitting here. I am panhandler. You should be ashamed of yourself. The man asked: Are you ok? The older woman nodded her head. After they left to cross the street she shook her head. I can’t believe that life on the street can be this crazy.