Down

July 22, 2014

What was she doing here in this hot weather? The day was hot and humid, yet going in and out of the subway would have been too expensive. Her chin hit the sidewalk. It happened almost without her realizing it. One minute she was up and the next down. Her whole body hurt but the chin got the worst of it. he hoped someone in the street full of people would offer to help her up. No one did. he struggled up again as best she could, picking up her purse. She shook her head and on she went. The day was too bright to think about heartlessness.

Advertisements

The Man

October 12, 2018

You are the man. You are the man I wanted, the man I couldn’t have. I stretched out my arm and hand to you. I could never catch you; you were slippery. You teased me; I teased you back. I loved you and said so. You played hard to get. Others  were interested. You aroused other women, sophisticated women. They were women of the world. l was the country bumpkin from a foreign land. I could hardly speak your language. Your customs and habits weren’t mine anymore. Our eyes knew everything. Our eyes said things that we could not say in public.

The Rain

October 11, 2018

Rain

The rain wasn’t fun anymore. It wasn’t a pastime, something out of the classic movie Singing in the Rain, with Gene Kelly dancing and putting his feet happily in puddles and puddles of rain. The rain annoyed her. It made her frustrated with her life, with what she had become. All she longed for was a warm place and a hot cup of tea. All she wanted was the comfort of what she most enjoyed and wanted to have.

 

 

                                                                                                                             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brutal–101

October 11, 2018

Brutal—101

The rain—she hated the rain. It came down, down hard and it wouldn’t stop. The morning began out on the sidewalk, with the people walking past her. Some carried umbrellas and some wore raincoats. She had her cup next to her so that they wouldn’t think that she was there just to read the free daily paper. Being out was important to her; for now it was her job, her only job. But the water spoiled everything—she got wet and her arms shivered. Her whole body shook.  When she crossed the street to get to the phone booth, the only refuge she knew, the extra water on the asphalt went up to her ankles. Her shoes would take forever to dry later in the evening. She had to do this. She had to see it through. Life was the way it was; nothing much for now to do about it.

 

 

                                                                                                                             

 

 

My Heart

September 27, 2018

My Heart

You are going. You are leaving me and I don’t want to let you go. I haven’t seen you much lately, but I have never forgotten you. You are going to a place that is not ready for me yet. It is far away; my time will come one day but not now. What will I do knowing that I will not see you, that I will not be able to touch your body? There will be no more visits to your new home. You won’t be around to motivate me. I can never stop caring about you. I can never want pain and misery for you. If your life continues, you will suffer. That is unacceptable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Evicted

September 15, 2018

Evicted

Oh, you don’t know. You have no idea what it’s like to be evicted. You have no idea how it makes you feel. It is horrible, similar to being the unwilling protagonist in a horror movie. The emotional pain is beyond belief; it scares and humiliates a person. The part that comes after you are forced to move out is even worse. There you are, with bags of stuff all around you, black bags, white bags and yellow bags. There is nowhere to go. Whether the weather is good or not too good is not important. You still feel crappy, like a desperate person in a 1930s movie, hugging yourself for comfort. Seeing the sidewalk, which is now your home, is enough to make you sick to your stomach. You want to get some sleep, but there is always a security guard somewhere to stop you. You can’t stay here, he says. Go somewhere else. Go where, you want to ask him, but why bother?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Box

September 12, 2018

The Box

I open the box—I open it just a little bit. I’ve heard so much about the contents of the box! There are beautiful things in it, incredibly exciting things that I’ve never seen before. The colors are bright and alive—blue, yellow, red and pink. There is no black. There would never be anything black inside the box. There would not be anything grey; grey is dreary and drab. I stare at everything; my mouth is open. I can’t believe what I see. From nowhere, someone’s hand slaps my hand. My fingers hurt and I quickly pull them away. I want to cry, but I can’t. When will I see what is inside the box again? Passion—I love the passion the box inspires in me. I enjoy life because of the box.

 

 

 

Delayed Reaction

September 7, 2018

You bitch! You dumb idiot! Who do you think you are? I made an effort that I shouldn’t have made and it was all because of you. The man’ face got red and his mouth showed all his teeth. She looked at him, her eyes wide and scared. What is going on in his life, she thought to say these things to me? What have I done? Somehow she excused herself telling him she’d see him in a couple of hours. When she left the store, she crossed the street and hid by the supermarket. Tears came down her face. I can’t understand. I don’t know what to do. I can’t bear it  anymore.

The Stairs

September 2, 2018

I see you. After years gone by, I see you. You’re rushing up the stairs and I go after you. The roof–that is your place to hide in. There is danger there, except that you don’t realize it. Your 4 legs take you everywhere and the roof is your playground. I look around and I discover where you are. I want to grab you, but you are very intelligent. You’re too fast for me. There is a recklessness in you that I admire; at the same time I want, I wanted,  protect you. I love you. Wherever you are now, please let me find you again.

Will It?

September 2, 2018

My heart is hurt and bewildered. Will the thing I want most in life now ever see the light of day? Will it ever be seen, appreciated, recognized and acknowledged? Will the long years of effort finally pay off? Or is failure going to be what I have to look forward to? It is the same failure that has long hard at my face, hard at my dreams as I worked persistently to achieve what I wanted and needed. The hope in my heart is nearly gone. It is just about to give up.

You Can’t

August 29, 2018

You Can’t

There are no safe places.  She sat on the crate outside an empty store. Her cup wasn’t out. She was just there with a cup of Starbucks coffee in her hand. It was her treat to her herself—one of the very few pleasant experiences of her day. The security guard came to her out of nowhere. I am sorry, he said. You can’t sit there. She looked at him. I will be here for just a few minutes, but next time call the cops if you want. I am warning you he told her as he left to walk into the restaurant next door. What is the use? She got up and left. I will deal with this tomorrow. Today I am tired.