Down

July 22, 2014

What was she doing here in this hot weather? The day was hot and humid, yet going in and out of the subway would have been too expensive. Her chin hit the sidewalk. It happened almost without her realizing it. One minute she was up and the next down. Her whole body hurt but the chin got the worst of it. he hoped someone in the street full of people would offer to help her up. No one did. he struggled up again as best she could, picking up her purse. She shook her head and on she went. The day was too bright to think about heartlessness.

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Words

December 13, 2017

Words

Words—I want them to mean something. I want the words, my words, to be heard and listened to. Words—they are such important words. I utter words of hope and longing and love lost and never found again. I utter words that I had trapped inside me. They had to come out; they had to be expressed. I don’t know what I would do without words, my words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Push

December 11, 2017

The Push

The man stood in his hospital gown. Is this the suitcase you wanted? She asked him. The stuff that you asked for is inside. No, he answered. I WANT THE BLACK ONE! The black one was too big for me to carry on the subway. I WANT THE BLACK ONE! Well, you can come to the apt. to get it anytime you want. I WANT IT NOW! I am sorry. Did you bring a coat? There is a coat in there, she told him. Look and you will see a coat. I don’t want that one, whatever it is. I WANT THE ONE YOU ARE WEARING. But it’s cold outside. His smile was grim before he answered her. Yes, and I am going to be outside to feel it. He walked towards her and started to unzipped her coat. No! No! She managed to say. His hands were hard; she fell on the ground. Help! Help! Someone opened the door of the hospital room. What happened? A couple of nurses helped her up. Security was called. They said she had been assaulted.

 

Confidant

November 28, 2017

I can. I can confide in you. I can tell you everything. I can trust you with my secrets. I can trust you with what’s deep inside my soul. You are me and I am you. We are.

Why?

November 28, 2017

Why should it? Why does everything that happens to you happen to me too? Why should I care if you are sick or are going through a difficult time? Why is that so important to me? There is drama in you. There is lots of drama, lots of up and down, almost at the precipice moments. I care. I truly care. Figuring out why is something I have been doing since the day I met you.

Fun

November 25, 2017

Fun

Fun, please tell me what fun I have had and when. I have hardly ever had any fun. There hasn’t been any laughter or even a smile in my life in the past 10 or more years. It has been a struggle, a hard and harsh uphill struggle and I have coped with it as best I could. I have been brave, or tried to be brave. I have been patient. I have done this and that, but fun, laughing and having my heart full of joy? No, that hasn’t happened. I am waiting for it, but getting it is just about impossible.

 

 

 

 

 

My Heart Speaks to You

November 24, 2017

My Heart Speaks to You

You don’t want to know, do you? You don’t want to realize that you should be doing something differently, something that will change your life and possibly mine? No. You would rather not recognize our bond. You don’t want to see it or acknowledge it. It would be hard for you to take, hard to deal with. You don’t want to do that. Your life as it is now hurts you, it hurts you deeply, but you keep doing what cannot make it better. You hurt yourself and you hurt me. Watching you suffer is one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Being impotent, helpless and not be able to make you see the light is something I wish I could avoid. You have been told many times, not only by me but by others: Stop! Do not go where the harm is. What makes you self destruct? What happened in your life beforeI met you that now all you do is forget to live?

 

 

Follow the Eyes

November 16, 2017

Follow the Eyes

The cat is inside the cage. Seated against the bars, he is holding tight to his body. The man walks by him. The cat’s eyes are wide; they look at the man. The eyes follow the man as he goes towards the kitchen. The man goes to his seat in the middle of the room. The cat keeps on holding tight. He looks down at his food and water bowls. The man glances at the cat. He shakes his head hard. Unreal He’s still here, he mutters.

 

Safe

November 4, 2017

Safe

I have not felt safe. I do not feel safe because I am not.  I don’t know what safety is anymore. The last time I felt safe was so many years ago; maybe it was when I was a child and didn’t know what was to come. A safe place to live; a place with no threats of eviction, with no threats of anything harmful to me—all this seems an unreachable and impossible dream. It is a far away event. I can’t even remember it anymore. I dread what will happen next.

 

 

The Curb

October 31, 2017

The Curb

She was near the curb; he was sitting next to her. He had a suitcase; she had a purse and a bag. It was dark—7 o’clock in the morning of a fall day. The milk crate hurt her back, but she had to sit somewhere. She had to do something to be there with him. People walked by. It was the early morning rush; they were the ones that arrived at work before the others had to. They walked fast and never glanced at the man and the woman. She shivered; he put he covered his head with a hoodie and looked at the sidewalk. How long will this morning last? It feels long, so long.

 

 

 

The Push

October 12, 2017

The Push

You just threw the house keys on the floor. Here, you said. I’m done. You slammed the door behind you. What pushes you? What pushes you to use words that can only hurt the one closest to you, the people who stand by you? What has made you bitter, bitter enough to lash out, to get the unseen sword from its not-so secret hiding place? What need is there in you to criticize, to find the bad and not the good in people? I try hard to understand, to get to the bottom of it all. I am baffled.