Down

July 22, 2014

What was she doing here in this hot weather? The day was hot and humid, yet going in and out of the subway would have been too expensive. Her chin hit the sidewalk. It happened almost without her realizing it. One minute she was up and the next down. Her whole body hurt but the chin got the worst of it. he hoped someone in the street full of people would offer to help her up. No one did. he struggled up again as best she could, picking up her purse. She shook her head and on she went. The day was too bright to think about heartlessness.

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Planes

June 7, 2018

Planes

Long ago—it was long ago. All those days of rushing from plane to plane, from city to city happened years and years ago. There was the need to do something, to be somewhere. There was the need to be somebody, somebody important, a person who got things done. Fatigue did not exist then. The word was nowhere near the vocabulary. The eagerness to be with the ones I loved, the ones I truly loved—all that is gone now. It is done.

 

 

 

 

Sleep

June 4, 2018

She sat on the white crates–one on top of another, then another and a third crate. She closed her eyes. The wind bothered her, but at least the rain had stopped. She hated getting wet. Life on the sidewalk was more real than anything she had ever experienced. It was hard concrete all the way through. For 10 minutes her mid took her somewhere safe and warm, to a place without pain and unkindness. Someone tapped her on the shoulder. She shook herself and looked to see a hand holding a dollar bill. ” Here. Could you use this?” She half smiled. “Yes. Thank you very much. I need a cup of coffee.”

pennies

May 31, 2018

Pennies

2 cents—is that your generous offer to my empty cup? Are the 2 pennies going to help me out here on the street? I am not ungrateful—not at all. Beggars can’t be choosers—I know that too well. Just think about it. If someone offered you 2 cents, would you like it? No, you’d feel insulted, maybe even humiliated. Being in the raw, as on the sidewalk is hard enough.

 

 

Zero in the Sun

May 29, 2018

Zero In the Sun

She didn’t arrive early at her site—Tuesday after the long holiday weekend might not be as good as she hoped. She sat on her crate just when the lunch crowd was walking by. It was 89 degrees and the sun was beating furiously. She thought she would faint. Her faithful cup and her sign were next to her. The sign was a little the worse for wear but she hadn’t had time to write a new one. Her thin arms were uncovered; she didn’t want the people to see that in places the skin sagged but she had nothing to cover them up with. She shrugged her shoulders and stretched them. It didn’t matter; unfortunately there was no way to turn back the clock. Her head needed protection. She bent down to get a newspaper from her bag. Hours went by. The cup remained empty. There was no food, either. How would it end—her little story? She shrugged her shoulders again. One more hour—if nothing happened by then, she’d leave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait Game

May 22, 2018

Wait

She sat there, under something or other. Water kept coming down. The protection offered by the thing wasn’t enough. She was getting wet. The street was busy. People walked down, they walked up the street. No one saw her. If only someone! If only someone could. I can’t. I don’t know how anymore. Where is it—the food, the whatever that is needed? It is cold here. It is not comfortable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Say it

May 22, 2018

Say it

Please say it! Be quick! Say it before I get tired—too tired to listen to you. What is the life that I am supposed to look forward to? What is the life that makes me laugh, that makes me want to go places? Where is it? You must know where it is. I don’t. I have ceased looking for that life—I have ceased looking, period.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Horror Floor

May 22, 2018

The floor—the floor is your home. The floor is your refuge. It is where you spend your time, whatever is left of your life. You consume—you drink that liquid thing out of the can. You drink a lot of that liquid. It goes down your throat; you want another and another and then one more. The cans put you to sleep. Because of the cans you are not you. You are not the intelligent man you once were; you are hardly a person. You have become that can.

 

Horror Floor

May 22, 2018

The floor—the floor is your home. The floor is your refuge. It is where you spend your time, whatever is left of your life. You consume—you drink that liquid thing out of the can. You drink a lot of that liquid. It goes down your throat; you want another and another and then one more. The cans put you to sleep. Because of the cans you are not you. You are not the intelligent man you once were; you are hardly a person. You have become that can.

 

Burning Up

May 20, 2018

Burning Up

It is hot; it is so hot that it burns. It is stifling. I can’t get the words out. There is no one to hear them; there is no one to listen. Sometimes I think I’ll die if I don’t say it, even if it’s to me and me alone. I have to express how I feel. I have to do it, or else I can easily explode. The outlet that was once mine is gone forever. It will never return. Now I have to make do with crumbs, emotional crumbs.

‘t

 

 

You Just Can’t

May 14, 2018

You Can’t

You cannot do it. You just cannot do it anymore. I see you, all stretched out on the floor. Where is your energy? Where is your life? I do not think you can or want to find it. I am scared for you. I am scared for the rest of your days.